In light of my recent exam blunders, I’ve come to realise that, maybe, just maybe, Cambridge and I are not meant to be after all. I have been ignoring all evidence of my inability to work under duress. How can everything be boiled down to luck, if I would always score my papers in stress-free environments but screw them up during exams? This is not bad luck, this is harsh reality – the reality that I succumb to stress too easily, and that I have bad time management skills. It seems like I can never finish my papers on time. I always take my time to do my papers, thinking that I’ll be able to finish them. Cambridge has always been known as a high-intensity university, in terms of workload, exams etc. How am I going to pull through FOUR years of tertiary education at said institution if I can even pull through FOUR weeks of A-level exams?
En route to achieving the grades required for me to get a guaranteed place at Cambridge, I have been forgoing meals for the past few months. I have been eating in the B107 classroom for the past few months while working on past papers. There were even times when I did away with lunch altogether, and of course, there were days when I would skip breakfast too. Those were the days when I would sleep at 1am, and wake up at 5am to do work. Those were the days indeed… I’m hoping that in the years to come, I would re-read this post and laugh this off, and all of this – the stress, the unwanted anxiety would mean nothing, nothing at all.
There are some things which are just not meant to be, and sometimes, admitting to this – to reality, is in and of itself, a victory worth commending.