This is why I do what I do

Some friends of mine often wonder why I’m always so… obsessed with getting to the right solution to some maths or physics question, and wonder why I’m willing to go to great lengths (like posting questions on Yahoo Answers in the hopes that some Good Samaritan would save me from my misery). But I don’t think they’re aware of this: dealing with non-living things, like maths and physics problems for example provides me with the perfect escape from my problems – family problems, personal problems, my own sadness, and whatever not. Just because I’m good at concealing my problems, doesn’t mean I don’t have them. I have my many moments of insecurity, anxiety and awkwardness. I have my fair share of sleepless nights for no apparent reason – getting engrossed in what I love extricates me from all of that, it really does. I’m not a fan of confiding to anyone about whatever that is bothering me, so I numb my feelings by solving questions. I can do problems for hours on end, if it means I can feel considerably better afterwards. Once I embark on a particularly tricky problem, I’ll not rest until I arrive to the right answer – this whole “obsession” with getting to the right answer provides me with a drive and most importantly, a distraction. A distraction that can in effect, get rid of my preoccupation with whatever that is bothering me. The joy in getting the answer right makes me happy, but what makes me even happier is that I soon forget about my sorrows. People often asked me “Why choose Physics? Why not medicine like your parents?” To be perfectly honest, I’m really tired of dealing with the complexities of capricious homo sapiens. I don’t think anything can be as complicated as humans are.  

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